Ponies and Lollipops
by spriter
Summary: See what TV can do to the the two Cullen adults and the 5 Cullen KIDS. This is a very random one-shot about the Cullens. Lol, it's very stupid, but it's funny. The stupid kind of funny. And yes, the title is actually involved in the story.


A/N: this is an extremely crazy one-shot that me and my BFF came up with in Spanish class. It involves the Cullens with the kids actually being _**little kids**_**.**

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I present to you the results of boredom and sugar:

The seven Cullens are gathered in the living room while the kids watch TV. The screen is currently showing _My Little Pony_. The theme song starts and Emmett starts singing along.

"That show is for little girls!" Jasper complained, glaring at the TV.

Edward, reading Jasper's mind, said, "But it's your favorite show!"

"Nuh uh!" Jasper yelled, his face turning red.

Rosalie giggled quietly.

Emmett cuts off his singing and turns to Esme. "It's a pony! And it's purple! Esme, I wanna purple pony!"

Rosalie, glaring and placing her hands on her hips, says, "You can't have a purple pony 'cause they're not real!"

"Yes, they are!" Emmett argued.

"Nuh uh!" Rosalie countered.

"Yah huh!"

"Nuh uh!"

"Yah –!"

"Stop it, both of you! Why in the world do you want a pony, Emmett?" Esme said, putting a hand on her son's shoulder.

Alice, her eyes wide and staring at something no one else could see, looked horrified. She yelled out, "NO! He'll eat it! Not my pony!"

"You don't even have a pony," Jasper stated plainly.

"Esme and Carlisle are gonna get me one! Esme, please don't let Emmett eat my pony!" Alice wailed.

"He's not and you aren't –"

"I'm hungry!" Emmett yelled, throwing his hands over his face as he burst into tears.

"There's blood in the fridge –" Carlisle began.

"But I want a pony!" Emmett said, still crying.

"You can't eat my pony, Emmett!" Alice yelled at him.

Emmett threw his chair across the room, stomping his foot and yelling, "NOW!"  
"You just stomped your foot like a girl!" Edward said, grinning idiotically.

"Time for a time out, mister!" Esme said, grabbing Emmett by the arm. She started pulling Emmett out of the room, looking extremely flustered.

"NO! Not that! Please! I'll be good! Don't make me stand in the corner!" Emmett yelled, tears sliding down his face even faster.

Jasper was holding his sides tightly, shaking with silent laughter, his eyes squeezed tight. Edward was snickering quietly from his seat beside him.

Alice looked to Carlisle, smiling sweetly. "Can I have my pony soon?" she asked.

Carlisle sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "You're not getting a pony, Alice."

Alice, eyes wide, seeing into the "beyond", started crying.

Jasper, his laughter completely gone, said, "Don't cry, or I'll get sad too! Too much sadness!" He put his hands over his ears, squeezing his eyes shut tight yet again.

Edward, his hands also over his ears, yelled, "Make the voices stop! THEY WON'T STOP SCREAMING!"

Alice, tears sliding down her pale cheeks, said, "But I lika da pony!"

Rosalie, her arms crossed over her chest, said, "You're just a bunch of big cry babies."

Edward and Jasper began running around the room, yelling, "Make it stop!"

Emmett, heard from the other room where Esme was giving him a lecture on chair-throwing, yelled, "I WANT A PONY!"

Esme could be clearly heard yelling, "No one's getting a pony!"

"That's it, all of you, it's nap time!" Carlisle yelled.

Everyone fell silent and looked to the leader of the house. Esme peeked through the doorway and said, "We don't sleep, love."

"Oh. Right. Darn," Carlisle said, wincing slightly. He muttered, "I wish they had nap time . . ."

Alice quickly said, "Can I have a lollipop since I can't have a pony?"

That started everyone being noisy again.

"You can't digest –" Esme began, but Edward was already holding out a huge lollipop to Alice, saying, "Here ya go!"

"No!" Esme yelled, but Alice was already bouncing around the room, crunching on the sucker.

"Yum," Alice remarked.

Carlisle, looking apprehensive, yet resigned, said, "Where did you get a lollipop, Edward?"

Edward, grinning mischievously yet guiltily said, "Um . . . outside?"

"Edward!" Esme yelled.

Emmett, who had snuck back into the room while the adults were distracted, said, "Where's mine? I want one!"

"Shut up, Emmett," Rosalie snapped.

Jasper was currently rocking back and forth in the fetal position on the floor, his thumb in his mouth. "Make it stop!" he whimpered.

Alice bounced over to Jasper and handed him the sucker. "It's okay, Jazzy! Sugar makes it _all_ better!" She jumped up and down, grinning, her eyes wide and pupils huge.

Jasper stuck the sucker in his mouth. Three seconds later, he started shaking, his teeth jittering. He jumped up and started running around the room, yelling. Apparently, his own sugar high mixed with the one he was feeling from Alice didn't make him very calm.

"Jasper, sit down!" Esme yelled.

"I wanna pony!" Emmett wailed again.

"You're still a bunch of big babies!" Rosalie snapped.

_"Lollipop, lollipop, ooh lolli lolli lolli, lollipop, lollipop –" _Alice sang.

"It wasn't _that_ dirty when I found it," Edward was muttering from the couch.

"WEEEEEEE!" Jasper screamed, running so fast he was blurred, but it was clear he'd almost reached the ceiling, running around the walls of the room: pictures were falling off and shattering every time Jasper stepped on one.

"ENOUGH!" Carlisle bellowed.

Everyone froze. The only sound that was heard was the thump where Jasper fell as he stopped running.

"Everyone, sit down, _now_," Carlisle said calmly. "We're going to sit as a family and watch TV."

Everyone hastily did as Carlisle said. It was clear that he was fed up.

"But I want a pony," Emmett grumbled under his breath.

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A/N: Once again, this is the result of boredom and chocolate. We do not own Twilight or its characters. (But it is sure fun to mess with them.)


End file.
